The Man nf the Future, 

A 
DRAMA IN THREE ACTS, 
. BY 

RICHARD RAWLINQS WATERS. 



LILIAN RUSHVILLE, 
(Act Srd, Scene 3rd ) 
Invention climbs the peaks to meet the morn ; 
Achievement sets his face toward the stars ; 
The giant, Labor, leads his brawny ranlis 
In order beautiful over bloodless fields,— 
And Progress wakes the world with trumpet tones. 



Copyright, 1902, by Richard Rawlings Waters. All rights reserved. 



PUBLISHED BY THE AUTHOR. 

Printed By 

L. M. BOLAND. LAUREL, INDIANA. 



/ 



To the Theatrical Managers. Actors, and Actresses. 

ES TEEMED FRIENDS: ^ ^ 

/ submit this Drama to you, and I hope it will meet with 
your approval. My object, of course, is to have my Play pre- 
sented, and, in order to effect this, I am willing to give the pro- 
ducer a very large share of the profits; for I have 
written other plays and /can write more— in fact, I can afford 
to be especially generous to the manager who will present this 
Play. "The (Man of the Future" embraces the following sali- 
ent points: A pleasing title, inexpensive scenery, simple and ef- 
fective properties, original wit, a blending of pathos and humor, 
fidelity to the rules of the drama, clearly delineated characters, 
continuous action, absorbing situations, frequent and powerful 
appeals to the passions, and a startling climax. I hope this 
Drama will suit you. If so, please confer with me at once, rest- 
ing assured that I shall ii eat you kindly and generously; for the 
producer of my Play is my benefactor, and to his interest I am 
willing to sacrficc selfishness, and do him every favor within 
my reach. I amyonrs most respectfully, 

R. R. WATERS, 
Laurel, Indiana, Box 195. 







The Man nf the FuturE, 

A DRAMA IN THRGE ACTS, 



Place, or scene of action, Chicago; time, 2050, A. D, 



The list of properties with directions, the stage specifications, the dress of 
characters and important suggestions to the actors and the actresses, will be 
g'ven on application to the author. 



CHARACTERS ENGAGED. 

MR- TWISTED (leading man) . The Man of the Future 

TUUMAN The Superintendent of an Electrocution Station 

Mr. RusHViLLE, (husband of Mrs. Rushville) An Electrocutioncr 

Burly Rushville, (his son) . . . . . A College Student 

Blawstedboy, (a dual character) American and an assumed Duke 

Doctor Drybook A Minister of Scientific Theology 

Prof Probem An Athlete of Iloivlharve Qollege 

Yellum A Time Caller 

Smi'I'H John A Condemned^ Criminal 

LILIAN RUSHVILLE (leading lady) A Lovable Woman 

Mrs Rushville, (her mother) A Wicked Woman 

A Bug Hunter . Wedded to sciewte 

A Young Lady (very nervous) Seeking suicide 

A Suicide (man, quite positive) . • Etecirocxded 

Bigby, John and assistant, Mrs. Rushville's servants. Six relatives of Smith 
John— three men and three women. Four stretcher carriers. A foot-ball 
player and his friends— 6 or more. A dying foot-ball player. People at the 
picnic; slot machine players, dancers, and bridal party. A dummy body, rep- 
resenting the corpse of Mrs. Rushville's aunt. 

Abbreviations :— Twisted, Twist ; Truman. Tru ; Mr Rushville, Rush ; Burly 
Rushville, Bur; Blawstedboy, Blaw ; Doctor Drybook, Dry; Prof. Probem, Prob ; 
Yellum, Yel; Lilian Rushville, Lil ; Mrs. Rushville, Mrs. R; Phone, P; Table, T; 
Electrocution Chair, Y. V . 



4 THE MAN OF THE FUTUKE. 

ACT I. The Electrocution Boom. 
Stage : A large room without decorations ; one entrance, c d , large, prac- 
tical door Electric battery, r c, well down ; large design, with bright nietalic 
knobs, plates and bands, and practical lever in plain view. Electrocution 
chair, r. of battery— plain, straight back, stout arms and legs. A large metal 
cap, with wire attached to cap and thence to battery. Footstool in front, with 
metal rests shaped like the foot. Long desk 1 c , opposite battery, to which is 
attached a thin wooden frame a little wider than the table and 7 feet high, 
with circular opening in frame, to show head and shoulders of actor behind the 
frame Attach to frame, near circular opening, several bright metalic knobs. 
At convenient height, sitting, right side of frame, attach bright, movable fun- 
nel, which serves for phone— in fact, is receiver and transmitter. A telegraph 
key and sounder at lower end of table, with bright metal rod extending out of 
sight of audience. Attach a wire to key, pass wire through hole in table and 
receive messages by working the key with wire and left hand concealed ; send 
them with right hand in view at sounder key. Several blank books, one open, 
two closed, lie on lower end of desk. A file on table, with big bunch of papers 
filed on it. Three chairs right side of table— one at phone one at open book, 
and one at telegraph key. One long bench r. of c d. Six common chairs be- 
tween bench and' battery. A large pitcher or water-bucket, containing water, 
a tin funnel and a large dusting cloth on phone end of table. 
Scene 1: Twisted' s Soliloquy. Twisted near electrocution chair; picks up a let- 
ter lying in it, opens, and reads. 

Twisted, {reading) Dear Nellie: Stocks went down. I lost ni.v Inst 
ilollar. Farewell forever! Do not toiuii niv hoily, Nellie; your 
kisses tnigUt bring me hack lo life — to misery! Your Charlie. 
(speaking) Poor Charlie! lie was killed in this cliair. {touches chair) 
Desi)air is the devil's doirtor. {looks at letter) Poor Nellie! bere are 
tears aud awful aiiguisli for you; but clods cmi 'lot cover the mercy 
of Co«'., and sorrow saves many a soul, {puts letter on table) A won- 
derful century! two thousand and tifry. In comparison, nineteen 
hundred was a <lark age; but are we any l)etter? What have we 

now? {to C.) 

The same hypocracy, falsity, sin ; 

The same old rottenness, outside and in ; 

The same old viciousness, cruelty, crime ; 

The same old blindness to truth so sublime : (maneuver) 

The same old heartlessness, punishment, pain ; 

The same old butcheries— multitudes s'uin ! 

The same old money-mad strugglejand strife; 

The same old selfishness, crushing out life. (.s//.s) 
S(;ene L>: — News from other planets. Twisted, Truman. Mr. Rushville and YeT 
lum. Enter Tru. and Rush.. C. D., down C. to table. 

Tru. {cordially) (rreeting, .Mr. Twisted; I .send you my best 
thought. 

Twist, {rising) Thanks. Mi'. Truman! Thought is a force. I 
send sympathy- 



THE MAK OF THE FUTUEE. . 5 

Rush, [derisively) Jibber, Jabber, bosh! This is an age of brains 
and business. 

Twist. Kight! and business is taking brains to the morgue. 

Tru. He hit you, Mr. Eushville. 

Rush. A little wiud can not move an iceberg. How is the bat- 
tery? 

Twist. It is ready for the work of death. (Rush, to B. Twist, P., 
Tru. to open book on T. ) 

Rush. Good! What's on the docket? 

Tru. [holding on book) I find four murders. 

Rush. Four electrocutions — is that all! 

Tru. {the same) No; here are two applications for self murder. 

Rush. You mean suicide, Mr. Truman. 

Twist. It means murder; it is murder. 

Rush, [emphatically) Mr. Twisted, please to use good English. I 
am an electrocutioner, not a murderer. 

Twist, [pointedly) It is written: "Thou shalt do no murder." 

Rush, [sternly) Gentlemen, give your attention to your own busi- 
ness. 

Tru. [coldly) Mr. Rushville. that will do. Connect us, please, 
with the wireless currents, and get the news from the other worlds. 
Mr. Twisted, put us in touch with the Airship Central, and post 
us on matters there. (Rimh Jt'or/v.s nnd rattles tdcgrcq^h key %tnih left hand 
concealed. Ttrist. fur n.'^ phone tube toward T rue., .'Strikes a knob on wooden 
frame, and Icant^ back, lUtening. 

Yellum. [loudly— behind frame) All aboard the Chicago Southern! 
bound for St. Louis, New Orleans, Havana, and all the southern 
suburbs of Chicago. The sub-plano-motive leaves dome No. 70 in 
six hundred seconds. 

Twist. _ [loudly— in phone) Hello, Mr. Yellum! [moderate tone) Mr. 
Yellum, please, [loud) Hello, Y'ellum! [Yellum appears at circular 
opening, side view.) 

Yel. [loud, hoarse voice) Why, Twisted! how are you? What's 
wantedf 

Twist. Joyful greeting, Yellum; give us the time, [all look at 
watches. ) 

Yel. [the same) One hundred and twenty after forty; or, two min- 
utes after eight, according to the system of nineteen hundred. 
Those people were fossils. 

Twist. What will we be after the lapse of a century? 

Yel. Ha, ha! fossils and mummies. Keep us connected, Twisted, 
then we can hear, and talk too. 

Twist. All right— O. K. 



6 THE MAN OF THE FUTUEE. 

Yel. Good day! {he disappears; Rush, stops the key. Twist, and Tru. tm-n 
toward him.) 

Rush, (rising) The wireless reports: Neptune swept by electric 
storm; meteoric showers on Venus; the ring of Saturn violently agi- 
tated; tremendous comet approaching Jupiter; the black giants of 
Mars have besieged the people of the river settlement, and the whole 
dwarfish race i)repares to meet the giants — that's all. 

Yel. [loudly— unseen) All aboard the Chicago Western! bound for 
San Francisco, Honolulu, Manila, and all the western suburbs of 
Chicago. The Aerial Propeller leaves dome No. 80 in six hundred 

seconds. 

Scene III: The Suicide and his Counselorb. Twisted, Truman, Rushville, Yel- 

lum, the Suicide {man), and the stretcher carriers. Enter Suicide and carriers 

C. D. down C. toward B. 

Rush, {rising) Well, sir, what do you want? 

Suicide. I want a quick trip to no place. [Suicide gives him a white 
piece of paper; Rush opens it. ) 

Rush, {reading paper) This is to certifiy that George Gayboy has 
sworn to take his own life; therefore, I grant him the privilege of 
electrocution. In confirmation thereof, I set my hand and seal: 
Henry Hasbeen, Mayor of Chicago. {Speaking) That is O. K. Mr. 
Truman, file this permit, {hands it to Tru.) Mr. Gayboy, I'm ready 
to favor you. Take the death chair. (All maneuver; Suicide sits in 
E. C; Bush, examines B.; carriers up C. near C, D,; Tru.andTwist to Suicide,) 

Tru. {extends permit to Suicide. My friend, return this to the Mayor. 
Do not die; let me help you to live. {Suicide motions him away.) 

Twist, {earnestly) Be brave! Suicide is the coward's compromise. 
Disease follows fear. Cheer up! You are sick; but courage can 
cure you. Try the three Don'ts: don't hurry, don't worry, don't 

die. 

Suicide {fretfully) Go to South Africa, or try a hotter climate! 

Twist. South Africa! Where bullets are blessings and powder 
keeps the peace; excuse me! and farewell. {Twist, and Iru. shake Sui- 
cide's hand and resume former posiitions. Rush adjusts the cap on Suicide's 
head.) 

Yel. {same) All aboard the Chicago Northern! bound for Nome 
City the Klondyke, the Polar Region, and all Northern suburbs of 
Chicago. The Mono-conical Rota-mobile leaves dome No. 95 in six 
hundred seconds. 

Scene IV: Mrs. Rushville and Suicide. Twist., Tru., Rushville, Mrs. 

Rushville, Suicide Yellum and carriers. Enter Mrs. R., C. D. doum C. ivaving 
a piece of white paper Rush, meets her. 

Mrs. R. {angrily) Rushville, you mental midget! you miserly, 



THE MAN OF THE FUTURE. 7 

blood-bloated vampire! What do you mean"? {shakes paper in his face) 
You would kill a cripple for a dime and sell your soul for a dollar. 
{Rush, retreats; she follows.) 

Rush, (mock timidity) Mrs. Rushville, please retire; I'm shocked — 
yes, I'm very timid. 

Mrs. R. {same) Eetirel you supercilious scoundrel! Shocked, are 
you? Did you ever shock any one! 

Suicide {sullenly) Hurry! shock me; then finish your fuss. Kill 
me. 

Rush, {to E. C.) With pleasure; please to excuse me, Mrs. Eush 
ville. 

Mrs. R. {following) I'll not excuse you; read that statement, you 
microscopic germ of generosity. {Rush, reads, she glares, and all- except 
Suicide — stare. ) 

Twist, {aside) 

A heartless husband or scolding wfe 
Fill house and hovel with hate and strife, 

Rush. This is a check for five hundred dollars. 

Mrs. R. You infinitesimal speck of manhood, I demanded one 
thousand. What is the price of a dress and a hat? 

Rush, {tearing up check) Pardon me; I'll correct it. Mr. Truman, 
give Mrs. Rushville one thousand dollars. {Iru. tvrites on a slip and 
hands it to Mrs. R. ) 

Mrs. R. {sarcastically) Rushville, you are an oyster: you are hard 
to open. 

Twist. And he is roughly handled, and forced to give up his 
treasure; he's an oyster. 

Mrs. R. {spitefully) You are an idiot; a babbling idiot! 

Twist. Heaven is my home; for idiots have sinless souls. 

Suicide, {loud, emphatic) Less talk! Send me to the morgue. 
Hurry, will you? (All maneuver; Twist, and Tru. to E. C; Mrs R to chair 
in C; carriers to bench near C. D.; Rush, takes the sheet from stretcher and 
throtvs it over Suicide, then goes to B.) 

Rush, {lighting cigar) Excuse me, Mr. Gay bo j; I shall not detain 
you longer, (puffs) Allready — quiet! firmt {He draws the lever; Sui- 
cide makes one convulsive m.ovement; Rush, replaces lever.) 

Twist, {warmly) A murder! Rushville, murder! 

Mrs. R. A fashionable way of getting out of trouble. 

Rush. It is a business transaction. Death closes the deal. 

Tru. Kill the weak; make way for the strong. What inhumanity! 

Rush, {to carriers.) Gentleman, remove the body. {He puts hand 
under sheet, and removes cap; carriers bring stretcher; they, Twist, and Rush, 
place Suicide, covered v/ith sheet, on stretcher. Carriers lift stretcher: up C. and 
exeunt . 



8 THE MAN OF THE FUTUEE. 

Yel. {same) All aboard the Chicago Cosmopolitan! bound for 
London, Vienna, St. Petersburg, and all of the principal cities of 
the Anglo-American States. The Climax Concatenated Aeroplane 
leaves dome No. 96 in six hundred seconds. {Ruah hUh in E., C; Twixf. 
and Tru. to chairs at T ) 

Mrs. R. {yawning) Well, who's next? What a lonesome den! 

Rush. Several more victims are due. 
Scene V: — Burly Rushville returns from Howiharve. Twist, Tru, Rush, 

Mrs Rushville, Burly Rushville, Prof. Probem and twoCarriers. Enter J'rob., 

Bur., and carriers. Bur. on a stretcher. He has left foot bandaged, a bandage 

around his head, and large sfrijjs of 2:)last<r on face. He carries two crutches. 

Prob holds a long roll of white paper. All stop near B. 

Bur., {shouting) liip-er-rah! rah, rah! Howiharve! 

Mrs. R. What a noisy wretch! What an unsightly savage! 

Rush, {to carriers, poiniing) Place him in the death cliair, while I 
adjust the battery. {Rush to B. 

Bur. {loudly) Great Schley! place him in the death whatable? 
By the Bonebreakers ol" Flouudover! but when-able? {he waves his 
crutch, shouting) Rip-er rah! rip, rah! Howiharve! 

Mrs. R. {neruously-nsing) He is a fiendish lunatic; he'll be hard to 
kill. 

Bur. {clutching both crutches) Kill paradise and Porto Rico! I'll 
break jour wedge-rip, rah! (ProI>. laughs, holds his sides, sits down and 
leans forward.) 

Rush, {excitedly) To the chair with him! Strap him down! Hold 
him! 

Bur. {shouting and waving crutches) Sweet Santiago! I'll rush you 
back! Get off the gridiron! {Be throws^ a crutch at Ru.^h; whirls the 
other; Prob. grabs it. All maneuver.) 

Prob. {loudly) Burly, order, sir! it is a mistake-a misunderstan<l- 
ing. {to Rush,) We have no criuiinal for execution; this is your 
son Burly, Mr. Rushville. (^frs. P. mns and embracoi Bm-.; all crowd 
around stretcher.) 

Mrs. R, {gushingly) You great big beautiful boy! 

Bur. (yelling) Wow! my foot! Rush her hack! I'robem, break 
the wedge! (The crowd u^idens, Mrs P. bca-k a step. Push, to Bur.) 

Rush, {shakes Bur. 's hand) Why Burly! I'ni suri)rised; I tlid not 
expect to see you alive. 

Bur. {cordially) Ha, ha! Blather, you were fixing for my funeral; 
and 1 was as mad as a wet hornet: a good joke, {waving his hauds to 
all) Everybody shake the baud of Prof. Probem. {points toward 
Prob.; general hand, shaking follows.) 

Prob. (giving roll of paper to Rnsh.) Mr. Rusliville, this is Burly's 
diploma, conferied and endorsed by Howiharve college. Wituiu 



THE MAN OF THE FUTURE. 9 

the last four years, be has permanetitly crippled ten men and killed 
five, which you will find recorded iu his diploma; aud, for his bril- 
liant work in the class room and on the grid-iron, we proudly enroll 
bis name on the scroll of honor. 

Rush, [tapping diploma) Five killed-well, I suppose that is a fair 
collegiate record; but I frequently kill five people in one day. 

Prob. But you are iu the business; our killing is done as an ac- 
complishment — a pleasure. 

Tru. (indignantly) You talk like outlaws — educated murderers. 
I am ashamed of you, and respectable people ought to shun you. 

Bur. [wrathfully, rising on crutches) You affable hog; I'll break your 
anout. Howlharve to the front! 

{He kicks at Tru. ivith right foot., drops a crutch on lame left; falls, grabs his 
foot, writhes and utters exclamations of pain; carriers put him on stretcher, still 
holding and writhtng. Twist, and Tru, to T., sit. Mrs. R., Rush, and Prob. to 
stretcher, comforting Bur.) 

Yel. (same) All aboard the Chicago Sun Beam! bound for 
Mexico, South America, and the Antarctic region. The Hyper-elec- 
tro cycle leaves dome No. 100 in six hundred seconds. 
Scene VI. A Disappointed Young Lady. 

Twist., Tru, Rush., Mrs. R., Bur, Prob., aud the Young Lady suicide. En- 
ter Lady, timidly, down C. 

Rush, (bowing) Well, young lady, step up and tell ua what to do. 

Lady, (nervously) I want to — to be killed — to commit suicide, 
please, sir. 

Mrs. R. (pleasantly) Poor child! don't be nervous, (takes her hand) 
Let me help yon; I'll place you in the death chair, and prepare you 
for the shock. 

{She leads lady to E .C; she sits. Rush, to H ; others rise and stare.) 

Bur. (loudly) Great Howlharve! don't kill her. Rush her off". 

Prob. Burly, you must not coach; you're not in the game. 

Mrs. R. (touching lady) Now fold your hands, close your eyes, and 
smile sweetly; for your face will retain its last expression. (Rush, 
to E. C.) 

Rush, (taking metal cap) I suppose you prefer brain contact. 
{Places cap on lady's head ) 

Mrs. R. (taking cap off) Why, Rushville! brain contact will distort 
her face. She will be frightful! You shall not shock her brain. 

Rush, (puffing cap on peg) Any way, then: adjust her left foot on 
the pedal. 

Mrs. R. (to lady) That will burn your foot, but you will not feel 
it. I'll help you. 

[Mrs R. removes kuh/s slipper and stocking: sets her foot on stool rest.) 

What a pretty foot! Such a lovely instep! (rising) There, dear, 



10 THE MAN OF THE FUTUKE. 

rest quietly; think of something pleasant, and count ten. All ready, 
Rushville. 

Rush, {to E. C; lights a cigar) In a moment; I'm taking a nerve 
tonic, {to lady) Who gets your body? 

Lady. My friends, who are waitiug outside; they would not come 
in. 

Bur. {to Prob.) Professor, this is as brutal as foot-bali. 

Prob. Worse! this is not so exciting as foot-ball, but deadlier; 
everybody dies. 

Rush, {to lady) Young lady, give me your permit. 
(She feels in her pocket and bosom, then researches them.) 

Lady (anxiously) Why, I've lost it ! What shall I do? 

Rush (coldly) Find the permit, or get another one. Leave the 
death chair. {Mrs. R. kneels and helps lady replace stocking and slipper.) 

Mrs. R. (sympathetically) It is too bad ! I know how you feel — 
such a disappointment ! (lady weeps) Poor child, don't cry ; get 
another permit, and I'll assist you again. You shall be allowed to 
die, if you want to do so. [Lady rises, rubs her eyes; then iq) C. tveeping 
and exits.) 

Prob. (pleasantly) Mrs. Eushville, it is a pleasure to see you kill 
people. 

Rush. Her victims are anxious to die. 

Bur. Between electricity and talk they have uo chance. 

Twist, (emphatically) Her breath can burst a balloon. 

Mrs. R. (to Twist., angrily) You microscopic germ of politeness ! 
You prehistoric specimen of talkative idiots, silence I In my pres- 
ence, silence ! 

Twist, (bowing) Silence surrounds the grandest scenes; the deep- 
est sympathy is silent ; in silence life begins and euds, and Infinite 
wisdom works in silence. Mrs. Eushville, silence ! {Mrs. H. grubs a 
chair; moves toward Tivi-Ht ; he retreats; Rush, catches the chair; they struggle for 
possession; she lets go and skqis Rush., then rushes up C and exits. ) 

Yel. (same) All aboard the Mountain Meteor! Bound for the 
highland suburbs of Chicago, on the Allegheny and the Blue Eidge 
mountains. The Aerial Migratorium leaves dome 202 in six hun- 
dred seconds. 

Scene VXI: — A Funeral Service. 
Twisted, Truman, Rushville, Burly, Probem, Doctor Drybook, Smith John, his 
relatives (three men and three women), his two stretchei'-carriers, and Bur- 
ly's carriers. {Enter Smith John, Dry. holding Smith John' s coliar with one 
hand and a black grip-sack with the oth<r; the relatives and carriers follow. 
All doum near B. * 

Rush. Here's Doctor Drybook again; we often meet in this room. 

(they shake hands). What is the trouble, Doctor? 



THE MAN OF THE FUTURE. 11 

Dry. (pointing to Smith John) I have in charge a criminal, Mr. 
Smith John, on whom rests the sentence of death, (relatives weep) 

Rush. Very good ! show your official papers. {Dw- opens grip, takes 
out roll of paper and hands it to Rush; he opens it.) 

Rush, (reading) This is to certify that one — namely — Smith John, 
is guilty of counterfeiting money issued by the bankers, controling 
the government of the United States. Therefore, in accordance with 
the will of the bankers, I sentence the said Smith John to death, 
and thereto affix u'y hand and seal. Samuel Shootsome, Judge of 
the Kentucky suburb of Chicago. {Rush, hands paper to Tru. he files it ) 

Dry. (to liush.) The prisoner desires the funeral service to pre- 
ceed his electrocution. 

Rush. Business is brisk; proceed at once. {All maneuver: Smith 
John to E. G , sits; Dry. right of him, standing; Twist, near Dry.; Tru. and 
Rush, at '/' facing Dry.; relatives in chairs near and L. of E. C; carriers bring 
bench and sit in C. 

Dry. Attention, all. 

Smith John. Doctor, cheer me up; a hearty laugh will help me. 

Dry. Ceitainly, that is in order. Ladies and gentlemen, a few 
funny jokes and brilliant remarks may preceed the service. Please 
crack no chestnuts. Speak, the meeting is open. {Rush works tele- 
graph key tvith right hand, then with left hand concealed. Repeat this several 
times.) 

Bur. (tapping floor with crutch) Why is an old maid like a new 
battleship ? 

Dry. (rubbing his hands) Because she's a thing of beauty and — 

Bur. (loudly) Get oft" of my corns ! Next ! 

Smith John. Let's see — because she comes out with powder and 
paint, and — 

Bur. (same) Ouch! kick 'er again! 

Several, (in chorus) Give it up: 

Bur. (deliberately) An old maid is like d new battle ship because 
she is ready for an engagement. 

{All remain silent except Smith John; he rises, laughs and slops his sides and 
thighs extravagantly. Dry . opens grip and takes out flask of tvhisky; passes it 
to Smith John; he drinks. ) 

Dry. (aftably) The prisoner may indulge in worldly pleasures 
during his last moments. 

Smith John, (holding up flask) Who'll give us a toast? 

Twist, (reaching for flask) You have the inspiration. 
{Smith John hands hi^n the flask ) 

Twist, (holding up flask) Woman: The last, the lovlieat, the noblest 
work of God; the outcast from Eden, the angel of home. 
Her mission is mercy, (she pities earth's wrong ;) 
She's dearer than light, chief subject of song : 



12 THE MAN OF THE FUTUEE. 

Her faults are from nature, when smitten by love — 
Ah, then she's a tigress, a serpent, a dove ! 

{All applaud Twist drinks; pasfies flask to Dry; he returns it to grip: takes out 
black book. Twist, and Smith John resume seats ) 

Dry. (opening book) Quite a pleasing diversion, (reads) What is 
God? Wbat is religion? They are cobwebs that entangle the tiies 
of faith. What is pleasure? 

Smith John and Relatives. A d el i g ht f u 1 delusion. 

Dry. What is pain? 

Smith John and Relatives, A dreadful reality. 

Dry. Sing "Consolation," our favorite andfamiliar hymn: {recites 
followmg, pompously): 

(Music supplied by Author.) 

'Neath vernal skies fair forms arise 
From nature's transient tomb ; 
But man must sleep forever deep, — 
His fate is endless gloom — sincj. 

[Smith John, Dry and relatives sing in unison. The orchestra play the hymn^ 
then accompany the singers with warmth and volume ) 

Yel. (appearing at opening, at conclusion) Hello, Rushville ! 
hello ! 

Rush, (sitting at phone and speaking into it) Here we are, Yellum. 
{All look and listen.) 

Yel. What's the trouble over there? 

Rush, (same) A funeral service, and a stroke of my lightning for 
a law-breaker. 

Yel. (laughing) Ha, ha! it sounds like a Chinese concert. Say, 
how is the election on Mars'? 

Rush. The Coppercrats elect Anson Jackdrew. 

Yel. The Brassbugs are too slow to peddle hymn books in 
heaven; (shouting) 'Rah for Anson Jackdrew ! 

Dry. (loudly) This is not a political meeting, sir. 

Yel. It's all off — goodbye! [He disappears; Rush sits; Dry. puts book 
into grip, takes out knife and saw.) 

Dry. At this point, the friends of the criminal may say farewell 
to him and indulge in grief. [Relatives gather around Smith John; all 
weep; men embrace him, women kiss; then all resume seats ) 

Rnsh. (to E. C.) What is that knife and saw for? 

Dry. (touching Smith John's head with knife) I shall remove this 
skull and show the wonders of the brain within — such is the delight- 
ful duty of religion. In the dissection of this brain, I shall clearly 
demodstrate the fact that mind is inseparable from matter; and it 
is my duty to convince you that the mind begins, grows, and dies 
with the brain. 

Rush, (sternly) Show your papers. 



THE MAN OF THE FUTUEE. 13 

Dry. I have none. 

Rush, (same) Get a permit, before you butcher him; if not, 1 
shall despatch him in a decent manner. 

Dry. (fretfully) Come, Smith John, we'll get the permit, and 
return in time for my demonstration. Eeligion would die in this 
den . ( Smith John rises; Dry. clutches his collar. ) 

Twist, (to Dry.) If religion goes with you, she'll starve. 

Yel. (same) All aboard the Chicago Lunch Line! Bound for the 
city of New York, Chicago's grandest suburb. The Gastro-Circu- 
latorium leaves dome No. 110, in six hundred seconds. 

Rush, (rapidly) Dinner: Come, Professor, (to carriers) Gents, 
bring Burly. 

Smith John, (rising) Come, Doctor and everybody, dine with me; 
It's my last lunch. {All maneuver: Oetieral hurry; exeunt Rush, Prob, and 
carriers ivith Bur; then Dry, holding Smith John, followed by relatives and the 
carriers. 7' wist, to B. , looks carefully at it; goes to T. . picks up cloth, puts it in 
phone; then to E C and reclines. 

Twist, (in soliloquy) The death current and Yellum are shut off, 
and 1 shall take a nap — the shortest way to heaven. Sleep is the 
poor man's paradise. If hate could sleep, hell would have no in- 
habitants. {Puts his feet on another chair and rests relaxed.) 

Scene VIII : Blawsted boy's Eehearsal. 

Twisted, Lilian Rushville, and Blawstedboy. (Enter Lit. and Blaw. down C.) 

Lit. Duke, this is father's office; it's a nice place for our rehearsal. 
(goes to ¥j. C., slight scream) Oh, Duke! What is that? (points at 
Twist,) 

Blaw. (Cockney drawl) Haw, hit his — hi 'ardly know. 

Lil. It's a body! Papa killed him, and went to lunch. 

Blaw. Why didn't 'e take 'iu> to lunch? 

Lil. (shaking him) Duke, do try to think; that man is dead. 

Blaw. Hi hunderstand. {Twist, rolls to floor and lays face down.) 

Blaw. (startled) Houch! we'll 'ave to 'ave 'el p. {Lil. goes to Twist., 
looks and laughs. ) 

Lil. Ha, ha! It's Mr. Twisted, the philosopher; he's asleep. 

Blaw. (surprised) His 'e ? Ili'll kick 'im hand give 'im the snow- 
clad countenance, hand 'e'll perhambulate hoff. 

Twist, (sitting up and imitating Blaw.) Hi 'ardly 'ope to hexpe- 
rience hit. 

Lil. (running to him and taking his hand) Let me help you up in 
the world. (She pulls and Twist, springs to his feet.) 

Blaw. Haw; 'e's hawake! 

Lil. Mr. Twisted, bov? to the Duke of Brokehurst. 

Twist, (bowing) Blawsted and Broke, I'm Mr. Twisted. 



14 THE MAN OF THE FUTUEE. 

Blaw. Where his 'e twisted '? 

Twist, (touching his head) In my head. You and 1 were hit with 
the same club. 

Lil. (vivaciously) Mr. Twisted, the Duke will call on my parents 
to get their consent — you understand; (tickles Twist) and I want 
the Duke to be surprisingly brilliant. 

Twist. We must rehears him in politics, poetry, religion — a little 
of everything. Miss Lilian, you are Mrs. Eushville; I'm the {)romi)ter 
when I stand, and Mr. Kushville when I sit. Begin: {Twist, sits) 

Blaw. Hi 'av'n't the 'eart, not hi. 

Twist, (interrupting) What art, sir? Name the art ! 

Lil. (Mrs. R's style) Rnshvillle, you are a monster! (kindly) 
Dear Duke, speak of politeness. 

Twist, (rising) Try this: Politeness is the adonier of poverty, 
the refiner of wealth, and the companion of education. 

Blaw. Politeness heducates poverty hand '«lps — 

Twist, (interrupting and sitting) Poverty needs education and 
so do you. 

Lil. (same) Rushville, silencel Your conduct would cause a fight 
at a funeral. Silence! you jnicroscopic germ of depravity. 

Twist, (rising) Thanks! Duke, try poetry — something religious — 
watch me: { Orator icvl—dignijiicd.) 

The deathless world is dark to human sight, 
For spirit substance clothes itself in clay ; 

But faith must follow truth in fervent flight 
Beyond the shadow into perfect day. 

Blaw: 

The 'uman sight his closed with hearthly clay— 
Lil. (interrnpting, stops him and laughs) Why, Duke! you dear, 
dumb creature! you prattling piece of idiocy, (shakes him.) 
Blaw. Houch! delightful ! 

Lil. (to Twist.) Try Hobs, and, if that fails, end it with Kip's 
lovely "back blown out of his head," old Shoot-'im-there brag to 
Willie. {Twist, and Lil. to C. straight and stiff, military style, facing each 
other, and speak the following dialogue: Twist, speaks the first line, Lil. the 
second, &c. They give the military salute at the beginning and end of each verse.) 
Twist, and Lil: 

Tommy, get your gun— your pretty gun ! {salute) 
Remember we are fighting for the "mon ;" 
We'll plug the hugly Boer— 
'E'll hear the Lion roar— 
A p'ty ! bloomln pity ! haint it, Hobs? 
A blawsted shame ! that's what it his, begobs ! (salute) 
Tommy, when you're crashing with your gun, (salute) 



THE MAN OF THE FUTUEE. 15 

Stay in the shade, its 'ot out bin the sun ; 
Besides, the Boer is tough — 
We 11 'ave to treat im rough— 
The 'ooting 'owlingcobs ! say, shawnt we. Hobs? 
The 'orrid Boers be blowed ! the bleedin mobs ! (salute) 
Tommy, keep on praying to your gnn ! (salute) 
Hit's all the God we ave— hits will be done ! 
The Boers are brutes, you know— 
They struck our Crown a blow ; 
But we'll scoop their gold mines, won't we, Hobs? 
The blawsted Boers ! the stingy, stupid slobs ! (salute— then crash 
from 07-chesfra. Blaw jumps.) 

Blaw. (startled) Houcli! 'eavens! 

Twist, (to Blaw.) Duke, proceed, (imitating Blaw.) 'Urry Lup! 
Blaw. Hi 'aven't the 'eart; hi never 'eard of Bobs. 
Twist, (to Lil.) Give him a Phillipiuo persuader. 
Lit. (clapping her bauds) Splendid! Duke, lie down. {She and 
Twist, force Blaw down on his back. Lil. brings pitcher and funnel from T. 
and kneels by Blaiv. 'J' wist, grabs his hands, presses them to floor and kneels on 
the palms. ) 

Twist. Take the Phillipino persuasion, Duke. 
Blaw. Philipbino contagion? 

Lil. It's persuasion; open your mouth, Duke. This will give you 
a line flow of language; you will tell what you know and what you 
don't know; and you will become civilized and christianized. (She 
forces the funnel into Blaw^s mouth, and potirs some water into funnel; Blaw. 
bloivs it out, gurgles, hoivls and struggles, then gasps, as if strangling. Lil. 
drops pitcher and funnel, and she and Twist jerk Blaio up. lie holds his head 
u}), gasps, struggles, and coughs. Lil. and Ttoist. work his arms like pump 
handles and beat him on the back. Blaw. breaks from them, staggers about, 
knocking over chairs, and exits, coughipg. Lil follows him.) 

Twist. Good ! he's a duke and a half; but what will he say to me 
later on ! (he takes former position in E. C.) — Curtain. 




16 THE MAN OF THE FUTURE. 



ACT II. The Picnic. 

Stage : Country Scene. The setting, description of scene, mechanism of 
airship and Twisted's electric machine embodied in list of properties : Given 
on application. 

Pabtiil Dbscription of Setting: A rural scene, green foreground; 
shrubbery on each side near entrance ; background, mountain scenery, or an 
air-ship for ornamental setting. One rustic chair, one log, down R. C. ; large 
rustic seat, L. C, opposite chair. Twisted's machine R C, near log and chair. 
Action: Ladies and gentlemen pass across upper stage on rise of curtain. 
Enter at either side, L. U. E. and R. U. E. Use few or many as circumstances 
admit. 

Sceae I: (as above) Twisted aud his machine. (Twist.. Lil. and four 
or more— men — slot machine players. Lil. in rustic chair, Twist, at machine, 
group of players near him. Skull of a horse on top of machine ) 

Twist, (to group) Fate has few favorites, but fortune, many. If 
fortune loves a man, she sends him ojjportunity, ability, and snc- 
cess; if she hates him, she sends bim money and misery; but, on 
her ordinary friends, she confers moderate wealth and good health. 
Gentleman, fortune is here! who'll be the first to find her! A silver 
key opens her golden door. Drop a dollar and draw one hundred. 
Don't be afraid! Fear smothers faith, stupefies courage, and — ex- 
cuse me — delivers us to the devil. 

Lil. (rising and laughing) Ha, ha! a truthful sermon by a prac 
tical sinner. 

Twist. Angels pity sinners and God loves them; for creed and 
doctrine drive them from the church; yet, the worst sinner may 
become the best saint. 

Lil. (lively) Better still ! go on ! 

Twist, (dryly) Piecrust and good preaching should be short. 

Lil. (going to machine) I'm converted; let me show my faith. 
{She drops a dollar in slot and turns handle; the other players crowd up, doing 
same; they continue this ivhileTivist. speaks; Lil. ivorks handle for all.) 

Twist, (vigorously) One hnndred dollars for one! Take it, my 
friends, it worries me. Wealth pampers the body, but starves the 
soul. I despise sjdendor; for the spade puts the billionaire and the 
beggar into the same bed. Don't be sad, my friends. Luck loves a 
light heart. Kemember the banker's advice: — "My son, don't be 
dishonest in small matters; and don't steal anything (pauses) from 
the government." Dirt and debr is the lazy man's legacy; but, fol- 



THE MAN OF THE FUTURE. 17 

low your work, then pleiitj' will follow you. Keep your raouey 
moving, my friends, and listen to my muse: 

Fortune oft favors the youthful and bold. 
But heeds not the timid whose hearts have grown cold ; 
Her smile is the glitter of diamonds and gold ; — 
Her lovers are legion, the young and the old. 

{The wheel stops; operator pours a pint of tin dollars into right pocket of ma- 
chine Lit. takes TivisVs hat and rakes money into it.) 

Lil. (holding bat toward Twi«t.) Tell us something about this; 
here is a hat full of silver. 

Twist. A bead full of brains is better than a hat full of silver; for 
brains can n)ake money, but money (tan not make brains. 

Lil. (puts bat in Twist's hand) Fact! here, take it — hat, brains, 
money and all. 

Twist, (passes lint to men, they take some dollars) A good heart 
makes a generous hand — remember it. {He pours remainder into fun- 
nel of machine ) 

Football Players, (at a distance — plainly) Rip-er-rah! he-haw! rah! 
rah! Howlharve! 

Twist, (pointing) Education and murder are entertaining the 
crowd. 
First Slot Player. The game begins! [slot players run and exeunt L. U. E.) 
Lil. Mr. Twisted, you are a bright man. 

Twist. Take care! Flattery is the fine art of fiends and the 
weakness of fools. 

Ul. True! yet I am right, and you can play a noble part. I 
have a place for you — The Man of the Future. Will you play it ! 

Twist. Yes, Miss Lilian; but the future is a vast subject: Ex- 
plain. 

Lil. My mother wants me to marry an idiot with a title. 

Twist, (emphatically) 1 object I 

Lil. (sprightly) And I reject. 

Twist. But your parents expect. 

Lil. To select — my mate. What a disappointment! 

Twist, (mock tragedy — hoarse, ranting voice) Ha! he can not 
escape; there are two hard heads against a soft one — the idiot is 
doomed ! O shade of Shakespeare ! 

Lil. (laughing) Ha, ha! You'll do; we'll rehearse tonight, in the 
electrocution room. {Lil. points toward L. U. E ; they look.) 

Twist. He is a bug huuter; we'll hide and watch him. (They kneel 
behind, log, looking toivard L. U. E ) 



18 THE MAN OF THE FUTURE. 

Scene II: Tvvisted Sells a Valuable Belie. 
Twisted, Lilian, and Bug Hunter. [Enter Bug Hunter, L. U. E, tvith small 
net on stick in right hand, small grip in left hand. He rims zigzag about, 
striking and reaching with net, and finally runs against machine and falls, 
dropping net and grij). He sits, looking about; Twist, and Lil. come to him.) 

Twist, (toward Bug Hunter) A fall is life's first lesson, and you 
are still learning it. Doctor Friend gives nothing but advice. He 
says: " When you are out of trouble, don't run into it." [He takes 
Bug Hunter's hand and pulls him to his feet Bug H. stares at horse's skull.) 

Bug Hunter. Thanks, sir, kindly thanks! (points at skull) What 
is that bone on your box ? 

Twist, (taking the horse's skull) This is the skull of a horse. 
Before invention had roofed the world, invaded space, and stepped 
from star to star, the norse was the [)rincipal power in the world of 
use. But knowledge mastered the flashing Geni of the clouds, har- 
nessed him to the chariot of labor, and left the horse to perish with 
the past. What a lesson, my friend ! Progress condemns our 
achievements to oblivion, and gives our present dreams a place 
among the realities of the future. Thus ignorance sinks, but 
knowledge soars; and ignorance toils for dimes, but knowledge 
gets the dollars. Will you give me fifty for this genuine skull of a 
horse! 

Bug Hunter, (feeling in his pocket) Yes; I'll buy it. {He gives mon- 
ey to Ttvist. Bug Hunter takes skull, rubs and pats it; lays it down, tiirns it over 
several times, looking at it intently.) 

Lil. (laughing) Ha, ba! A horse must have been a very homely 
animal. (Bug Hunter rises, stares at Lil. grabs net, grip and skull, and walks 
hastily up C, turns and stares again, then exits. Lil. and Twist, laugh; he leans 
on machine; she sits in chair.) 

Twist, (pointing toward L. U. P].) Here comes love looking for 
loveliness. Hide, Miss Lilian; we will surprise him. (Lil to right 
side, ivhen Trttman is near machine, hides behind it.) 
Scene III. Twisted's Secret and Lilian's Argument. 
Twisted, L'lian and Truman. (Enter Tru. L. U. E. down to machine. He 

and Timst salute.) 

Tru. Have you seen Lilian, lately? 

Twist. Lately is an adverb; no, I have not seen Lilian Adverb. 

Tru. Lilian Rushville, I mean. 

Twist. Send her a tender thought, then she will come; for space 
can not separate loving souls. 

Tru. True! Lilian, come! (He throws a kiss; sits in rustic chair.) 
I liave taken your advice. 

Twist. A good lawyer's advice is worth as much as his argument. 

Tru. Mr. Twisted, yon arc a lirillinnt man, and .\<)u can fill a high 



THE MAN OF THE FUTURE. 19 

position. My coinpauy would appreciate you. Let me push you to 
the front rank. ( Tivist takes Tru.\t hand, then steps back; Tru. rises and faces 
him; Lit. emerges and stands behind Tru.) 
Twtst. (earnestness and dignity) 

They call me Twisted— nicknames never leave. 

My mother filled the fountain of my soul 

With useful truths. She said:— 

"The sphere of innocence around the babe 

Flows from the ranks of angels near to God ; — 

And in the core of all things true and good, 

There dwells a germ of pure and deathless love." (tenderly) 

I saw her folded hands, her pallid face— 

A face pathetic in its peacefullness,— 

And then, a sudden change— I was alone ! 

Friendless, forsaken, lost— a homeless child! 

A fever followed this, and vivid dreams 

And visions — sweet communion with my Mother. 

The flush and frenzy ceased, and health returned, 

But. for awhile, my reason seemed to sleep. 

The fever left a blight upon my brain— 

A brilliancy— a weakness of the will — (touches Tru.) 

You understand — but I shall not complain ; 

For Mercy sends the burden and the cross,— 

And Love bestows a blessing for a loss. 

Lil. (aside) Poor fellow! I shall be your friend. 

Tru. (taking Twist's hand) Yes, I understand; resi^onsibility 
would worry you. However, let nie be your friend, and test me, is my 
earnest wish. {Lil. to C ; Ttvisi. turns Trie, toward Lil.) 

Lil. I felt a pressure on my lips, and a voice said — "Lillian, come." 
What a delightful surprise! I must return the favor. {She runs toTru. 
and kisses him.) 

Twist, (aside) Her heart has run away Avith her head. 

Tru. (surprised) Why, Lilian I am — am — 

Twist, (interrupting) Greatly pleased! 

Lil. (suggesting) In fact, delighted! 

Twisl. (continuing) And intensely happy! 

Tru. (shaking his head) You mystify me, Lilian. 

Twist. Women is a mystery, because God made her while the man 
was asleep. 

Lil. I plead guilty. What is the sentence? 

Twist. For life you shall be locked in the arms of the man you love. 

Lil, I submit. 

Twtst. (to Tru., pointing at Lil.) Place the shackles upon her. 

Tru. (taking Lil.'s hand) Dear Lilian, what shall I say! Such 
heedless gayety and such impulsive sympathy as this, I can not un- 
derstand. 



20 THE MAN OF THE FUTUEE. 

Twist. If (leatli could speak, he would say — "misuuderstood." It 
is the call of repeuteuce and the cry of remorse. 
Lil. (witli aininatiou and dignity) 

Misunderstood! but I shall plead my cause. 
The eloquence of sorrow is a sigh, 
Yet sighsrexpress more bliss than speech reveals. 
Nature is full of seeming contradictions :— 
Protection sets the thorn close to the rose 
And puts the barb upon the bee, and thus, 
Both use and beauty shelter brutal Pain, 
Who stops the rude intruder with a stab. 
Maternal instinct warms the eagle's brood, 
And fondly ministers to whelps and cubs. 
If lowly life is moved so tenderly- 
Moved by the saered and sweetest call of love,— 
Then, where does women stand in nature's scale? 
Can she be lost when Doom sweeps worlds away? 
What is her mission in the deathless state? 
Search deep beneath the surface for the truth ; 
Fo> Wisdom hides her treasures from the fool ;— 
Sink like a dive? down to silent depths. 
And seize the precious gems, the priceless pearls, 

Twist. A prayer — Amen! 

Tru. (putting arm around Lil.) An ample explanation. 

Lil. A reconciliation. 

Twist. AH lovers feel a deeper bliss 

When quarrels end with fonder kiss 

Scene IV. Lilian Describes a Hero. 
Twist, Lil., Tru., Football Player and Friends— 6 or more. {Enter Player, 
in football costume, and friends R. U E. Friends gather around player , shout- 
ing; Player hoios frequently; friends lift him on their shoulders, and exeunt 
shouting, L. U E. ) 

Tru. Is that the benefit of education! 

Til. No; it is the benefit of evolution, (points toward L. U. E.) 
There is a remarkable animal — he has small ears, a smooth hide, and 
no hoof; and he speaks Latin, goes to church, and kills with a kick. 
Tru. Brutality! but when will man forsake such foolishness'? 
Twist. When education follows truth, Avhen science walks with re- 
ligion, — when the Commandments is the only creed. 

Scene V. A Lunch of the Future. 

Twist,, Lil., Tru., Rush., Prob , Bur. and two carriers. {Enter Rush , Prob. 
Bur. on stretcher, and two carriers, L. U. E and slop C. ] 

Prob. (enthusiastically) A great game! superb! Howlharve is 
victorious. What a fall for the Bonebreakers of Floundover! (slaps 
Bur.' s back) Ah, Burly! 

Bur. (shouting) Uncork 'cr! liip, lii]* — ■ 



THE MAN OF THE FUTURE. 21 

Bur. Prob. and Carriers, (in cliorus) liip-er-rali! Rip, rail, rah! 
llowlliarve! 

Rush. It's too sloM^ for me. Make the game more strenuous; give 
it a classic character — heathenize it — crij)ijle and kill on a large scale. 

Bur. Why, father, there were five crippled and two killed, today. 

Prob. Yes, sir; it is an excellent showing — splendid ! 

Bur. (shouting and pounding with crutches) Pull the cork, Pro- 
fessor — hi]), hi]) — 

Chorus, (as above) Eip-er-rahl Rip, rap, rah! Howlharve. {Bur, 
rolls off atreteher; hurts his foot on floor; writhes and groans; carriers place him 
on stretcher, holding his foot; Lil runs to him; Ttuist. and Tru follow.) 

Lil. (embracing Burly) Poor Burly! stay away from college, dear 
Bnrly; they will kill you there. 

Bur. (])usliing her) Sweet Santiago! Lilian, go away! 

Rush. She's right. Burly; foorball will finish you. 

Bur. No better luck! H'^nv many have I finished? 

Prob. Burly has worn the Laurel five times. 

Tru. (emphatically) He has killed five men, is Avhat you mean. 

Prob. (coldly) Exactly, sir! What h^-ve you to say? 

Tru. Neither he nor you (night to enjoy freedom; you are fiendish 
l)eople. Either a cell in the prison or a cage in the asylum is the 
place for yon and Burly Rushville. 

Bur. (angrily) What a beautiful beast ! If I put my foot against 
your spine, you will be laid in a very dark cell. 

Twist. If! Poor little "if" has only one eye! 

Prob. (pleasantly) Burly, be patient with these men; they are quite 
ignorant; and they run from the devil and go to the Lord. 

Twist. Correct; but you run from God and go to the devil. 

Lil. (kindly) Let the devil alone while we all dine. 

Bur. Hai)py Havana! I'll tackle anything. Get the baker with 
the battery. 

Ltl. (pointing at Twist.) Here he is, Burly. 

Bur. Feed me, Mr. Twisted, and I'll be your friend. 

Twist: 

Bird and beast love the hands that feed them, 

But friends whom we feast desert when we need them. 

(All to R C, near machine; carriers bring Buir.; Lil, in rustic chair; Twist, in 
front of machine; groiqi' forms R. and L. of Twist.) 

Bur. Who is the center rush? 

Prob. (taking out purse) I am, and I hold the pigskin. 

Tru. (taking out money) Favor me, i)lease; allow me to pay for all. 

Rush. Carried by consent. 

Twist. Drop in your dollars and get your dinners. {Tru. puts several 
dollars ir, the slot of machine. ) 



22 THE MAN OF THE FUTURE. 

Tru. Wliaf s the bill of fare? 

Twist. Peas for the peaceful man, pies for the i>ious. 

Lii (suggesting) And squabs for the squabbler. 

Tru. Give us hot biscuits, fried chicken and potatoes, custard pie 
and coffee. (T/ic operator, at trap-door, puts dishes of biscuits, potatoes and 
chicken on left sliaitig board of machine, on the right, sets plate of pie and eight 
cupts of coffee. Twist, brings basket from back of machine; gives handle of ma- 
chine several quick turns; and, as he u'orks and jwurs articles of food into funnel 
of machine, speaks his lines ) 

Twist, (pouring in flour) JUscuit by tlie lightning {)rocess; the tri- 
unqdi of transformation, (puts in few ])otatoes) H^ re are your i)ota- 
toes prepared b.v rhe wizard of light and heat., (puts in live chicken) 
Next, the chicken feels the touch of progress. The word "impossible" 
is fading from our language, (breaks egg into funnel, ])ours in flour 
and milk) Custard pie — the crude material is instantly converted 
into the manufactured article. What is a miracle? The instantane- 
ous application of natural law. The coming man will laugh at elec- 
tricity; for mind — man's mentality, will be the force of the future, 
(puts in handful of coffee grains) Now, tlie Geni of the twenty-first 
century gives us a cup of coffee — hot, fragrant and spicy. Shades of 
the past ! rise and foretell the achievements of the future. Dinner 
is read;\ ! (Tivist. pulls ont H. and L. sliding boards. Men croivd around left 
board; Lil. and carriers pass coffee from right board; Twist, takes napkins from 
basket and gives each pei-son one. Lil. passes plate and ciqj to Bur. and sits on 
his stretcher beside him, holding his plate.) 

Bur. Somebody Avake us up with an old-time Boom. 

Twist. A good suggestion; we'll join you. Miss Lilian. 

Lil. (rising) How is Old Nineteen Hundred? 

Bur. Good! let 'er go! (The follotving must be .spoken. The chorus is 
" boom! boom! " and " tra, ta, la! " in ivhich all ;join rvrlh emphasis and vigor. 
Follow Lil. without a break in the poetic rhythm. The 7nen divide their attention 
between Lil. and Ihcir lunch, as the piece is supposed to be familiar to all. Lil. 
introduces a variety of motions, steps and facial expressions with her lines. Aim 
at originality.) 

Lil. (to C): 

In dramas I've seen many curious crimes 
And battles and murders galore— ( Cho) boom ! boom ! 
I've seen the same actor drop dead seven times, 
And roll all around on the floor ( Cho) boom ! boom ! 
And roll ( Cho) tra la la ! and roll ( Cho) tra la la I 
And roll all around on the floor ( Cho) boom I boom ! 

I've seen a fine actress, whose bosom was hare. 
Convulsively struggle for breath— boom ! boom ! 
She'd moan and she'd murmur and clutch her false hair, 
And whisper, "Can this be de-heath? ' boom ! booni ! 



THE MAN OF THE FUTURE. 2,'? 

And whisp-tra la hi ! and whisp -tra la la ! 
And whisper, "Can this be de-heath? boom ! boom ! 
I've seen a grand actor, whose nose made the hits, 
One hundred his sword would engage— boom ! boom ! 
I've shivered and shuddered and— hah ! had a fit— 
Oh, my ! on account of his rage— boom! boom! 

Oh, my! tra la la! oh, my! tra la la! 
Oh, my' on account of his rage— boom! boom! 
( All laugh. Lil sits btj Bur. Hwiat and carricvH gathfr and put all of the 2ilc(fes 
etc. into haKkrt. 

Bceiie VI: Lilinii's Appeal and Mie Combat. 

Twisted, Lilian, Truman, Rushville, Probem, Burly, Drybook, Dying Football 
Player, and Four Stretcher Carriers. (Enter Dry. and two carrirrH with dy- 
ing FootbaU Player on stretcher, L. U. E. down R C, near group . Tru. 
a'ld Lil. io Htretcli.er; she rubs dying jiloy^^^'^ .f"Ge. 

Dry. Friends, here is a dying man, avIio was sent to me, and over 
whom I shall hold consolatory service. Please listen attentively. 

Rush, (pointing) Take him nway and console him; this is a picnic 
party, and we don't wanr a funeral. 

Tru. (])ointing at machine) \Yait I tliat machine can revive liim; 
tlie viral current may save him. 

Twist, (taking metal cu])s from pegs) Quick! here is the contact of 
the vital current. 

Bur. (surprised) Why, he is a football jdayer! one of tbe Bone- 
breakers, of P'loundover! 

Dry. Yes; he Avas kicked in the region of the heart by the hero of 
Ilowlharve. 

Bur. Away with the corpse! There's uo permit to raise him. 
Hurrah fur the hero of Ilowlharve! 

Lil. (indignantly) PTero? Hyena is tlie word I Cage the beast; 
he is a monstrosity! 

Prob. (to Dry.) Where is your permit to resusitate this man? 
Dry. The hero would not grant him the permit. 
Bur. Then let him die; the hero must have the honor. 
Tru. (taking metal caps from pegs of machine) He shall not die. 
(to Twist.) Turn on the vital current. [Twist turns handle cf machine.) 

Prob, (sternly) I'll put you behin<l tlic bars. Stop! I know the 
law.-,-Football ])layers are allowed to cripi>lc and kill their o]>pon- 
ents. 

Tru. (ai)])r(»aching Prob.) Pr(d)em, be just and generous; let this 
man live. (Dying player nrouMiS and, groans. String instruments play soft, 
plaintive music rill Prob. speaks; he goes to C; Lil follows Mm.) 
Lil. (appealing to Prob.): 

Where is your heart? Oh, spare him! let him live! (To Rnsli.) 
Father, you knew this boy ; you've seen him play 



24 THE MAN OF TFIE FUTURE. 

In childhood near your door ; come, plead for him. {to Prob) 
Who made this manly form? who gave him breath? 
Shall we blot out the likeness of the Lord? 
Then, save this youth, who totters at the tomb. 
I know his father well— a frail old man,— 
And this bruised body is his sole support. 
Oh, raise hun! let the young heart beat again! 
Return him to the arms of helpless age. 
Can grief rejoice? Does Death extol our deeds? 
Oh, grasp the meaning of Gethsemane! 
The tears and bloody sweat,— and Calvary! 
Those hands nailed to that cross now clasp the world! 
[She extends her arms as if on a cross, stands thus a few seconds, then assumes 
pleading style— passionate intensity — hands clasped and extended.) 
Oh, for the sake of Mercy! who meekly bows 
Before the throne of God, restore this life! 
Lift up Jehovah s fallen masterpiece. 

— Tableau — 

(All lean forward and look intently, breathlessly at Prob. LiVs body leaning 
forward, face inclined up, hands outstretfihed and whole frame motionless — im- 
personating pathetic supplication. Prob. looks down, hand on forehead, as if 
thinking.) 

Prob. (coldly: iTiiiv«ic stops) Our games are brutal, of course; 
competition is the cause. Be willing to tight and anxious to tight is 
the couqueror's creed. Defeat and death await the weak, (points at 
dying player) Let that man die; you have heard the law. {Lil covers 
face tvith hands; Tru. steps and leans forward, stands rigidly, index finger point- 
ing at Prob ) 

Tru. (veheniently): 

The law! what law? you cold and cruel wretch! 

An angel could not touch your savage soul. 

You dreadful double monster — brute and fieud. {steps forward) 

If all the horrible throngs and hosts of sin 

Were told to name a demon viler than themselves 

They'd jar the dome of darkness with one shout— (^e shouts) 

"Probem!" yes, Probem! — (/w^'er - lioame and harsh voice) 

Whose eye gloats on the blood of murdered youth. 

Whose hand has stabbed and mangled human hearts. 

And nailed sweet Pity to the cross, i point to Lil., violently agitated) 

Prob. (advancing, fist extended) Enough! Come, defend yourself. 
Use your Avind another way. (takes boxing i)osition. Lil. clasps.Tru.) 

Tru. (pointing at Lil.) Not now, you snarling wolf. 

Bur. (angrily) Don't listen, Probem, drop hlni. {Prob moves around 
Tru xvith clenched fiM; Lil. faces Prob. with extended hands; Ttvist rushes and 
shoves Prob.; he recoils several feet.) 

Twist, (enraged) Back! you educated devil ! (Rush, catches Prob. 
Tru. holds Twist.) 

Prob. (taking off and giving coat to Hush.) I'm ready. 



TUB MAN OF THE FUTURE. 25 

Twist, (still lield by Tru.) Dear Truman, let me go; Pni cruel uoav 
— cruel enougli to do a dreadful deed. {Tru. releases him; he takes off 
coat and Tru. holds it. ) 

Bur. (loudly) I'll be the referee. Step up! Toe the mark, gentle- 
men; tiglit fair and to a finish. 

The Fight: Form a line with Bur. in center ; left, Rush., Dry. and two 
carriers; right, Lil. Tru. and two carriers * * * The complete instructions to 
principals will be given on application. In order to present this feature of the 
play, the principals must study and follow the instructions as written. * * * 
Conclude the light in one round -o?(7,y one Avoid extravagance; be natural; 
show skill and courage and you will win the hearty appreciation of your audi- 
ence ■■ * * Prob. forces Twist back with a rush, a left swing and two right 
hooks to the body ; Twist, delivers a hard left on Prob.'s head, and forces him 
to C. with hooks to the body. Prob. drops to his knees ; Bur. counts five ; Prob. 
leaps up and clinches Twist. ; he breaks clear ; Prob. rushes with right swing at 
Twist 's head; he dodges, and puts a right hook to Prob 's jaw. He staggers, 
throws his fists wildly, and Twist, plants a right swing on Prob 's jaw. He 
falls backward with heavy shock, and lies still. Bur looks at watch, and 
counts off seconds with index finger. 

Lil. (running to Prob.; Kush. and Dry. leau over liim) What 
brutality! (she ai>plies her 'kerchief to Prob.'s face.) 
Twist. ( turn ill g away): 

We fight, we fall ; thus, glory's grandest gifts 

Are stained with blood {Rush, and Dry. help Prob. to his feet) 

Lil. (coming to Twist. ) How cow/o' you be so cruel? Shame! oh, 
shame! 

Twist, (taking her band) Miss Lilian, I am ashamed, reproving 
conscience and repentance speak. 

(Rush, sf lakes Prob. He stands blinking and feeling his jaw.) 

Bur. (with humor) Here you are, Probem! Sweet Santiago! a 
right swing — a Porto Rico peach! 

{Prob. nods; Mush and Bur. touch their chins with their fists while Twist, 
speaks.) 

Twist. ( aside — sadly ) : 

Rage, insane and blind ! How can you storm 
The calm and cloudless heights of watchful thought. 
Seize and invest the palace of the soul. 
And lay your bloody hands on Reason's throne? 

Prob. (calling) Mr. Twisted, here, plea.se. (Twi.st. forward, hand 
extended. ) 

Twist. Gladly, sir. (Prob. and Twist, shake hands.) 

Prob. You are good, very good ! 

Twist. Good is the Cau.se of creation, and the sustaining power of 
the Creator. 

Prob. You are mentally blind. (]ioints toward dying foot-ball 



20 THE MAN OF THE FUTUKE. 

player) Take tbat iiiau into an airsliip, vUe from the grouiul, then 
you Avill be out of the limits of the law, 

Tru. 'Tis not too late to save the injured man— 

We'll rise ; no human laws control the air. (to carriers) 
Friends, come ! a deed of kindness is a prayer. 
(Exeunt 'I'm. and carriers ivith man (yn fitreteher. Pix>b. iip C. stops and 
turns.) 

Prob. (pleasantly) Excuse me, please; I must fix up 7ny face. 
Bur. (jocosely) Excused on account of weakness in the head and 
a tendency to stagger. Go on, Professor; you liave knocked out many 
a college cha}>, but an ignorant man tnrned ui> your toes to-day. 

Prob. (boxing- attitude) He is a tiger; keep aAvay from his ])aws, 
and give him the honors — iiip, hip — 

Bur., Rush., Dry., Prob. and Carriers, (shouting-) Kij) — 'er — rah! rip- 
rah, rah! for Twisted ! 

[Exit P)-ob Bnr. drums ivith crutch on floor and sings, improvising tnne to 
fife and drum rhythm.) 

Bur. The rush has the ball, with the prize in sight; 

Now, Sweet-heart, look ! 'tis your lover's tight ; 
The half-back is down and the quarter, dead— 
A kiss, sweet witch ! say, when shall we wed? 

Scene VII. Mrs. Kr.shville Digs up the Hatchet. 

Twisted, Lilian, Rushville, Drybook, Burly, Blawstedboy, Mrs. Rushville and 

two Carriers (Erdcr Mrs. R. and Blaiv down C.) 

Mrs. R. (wratbfully) Rushville, you microscopic- germ of humani- 
ty! you legalized murderer! you malignant ]uicr<>be! Where did 
you hide? You con — con — 

Twist, (quickly — suggesting) Contemptible, confounded — 

Mrs. R. (spitefully) 'You are a fool ! 

Twist- A smart, fool lias lii^ mind in his nioutli; a smarter fool 
puts bis brains in a book. 

Mrs. R. (same) Silence! not another word; I am talking, and I 
i^;7/talk- 

Twist. Doctor Talk gets bis pay, but God gets the patients. 

Mrs. R. (more fiercely) Kusbville, the Duke of Brokehurst was 
tortured — tortured in your office! You intellectual nonentity, what 
do yon mean? Apologize! down, sir, at once. Do you hear me! 

Bur. (pounding- with crutch) Nobody is down. I'll do the 
coaching. Get oft" the gridiron, moilier. Apologize? To Pittsburg' 
or hades with rbe Duke; he's on a hunt for daddies with dollars. 
I'll apologize with this, (shakes his <^rut(;b at Blaw.) 

Blow, (retrea'ing) Hunnecessary, hindeed! hexcuse me. 

Dry. (surprised) Young Mr. liushville, I am astonished! 
Wealth and aristocracy are the favorites of the church. 



THE MAN OF THE FUTURE. 27 

Mrs. R. iUirl.v, remember tlie law of decency; you are in tlie pres- 
ignce of royalty. 

Bur. In the presence of bosh? the Duke, the spook, the beautiful 
buzzard! Take him to the "Zoo," and sliow him nature's aristocrat 
— the ape. 

Mrs. R. (kueeliiig to Biaw.) My noble Duke, I humbly apologize 
to you for my sou's disrespect and my husband's inhuman brutality. 

(She rise.'i; the Duke grins and boivs.) 

Bur. The Duke is as brilliant as a bucket of mud. 

Rush. But not so intelligent as an iron dog. 

Dry. Gentleman, I am sliocked. 

Lil. Mother, this matter mustl)e explained: I administered the 
M'arer cure ;o the Duke. 

Twist. 1 am the guilty one, Mrs. Rushville; I tortured the Duke. 

Mrs. R. (angrily) I'll torture ;/ow, shortly, (goes to Lil.) Lilian, 
you shall scorn me no longer; and .von shall learn by bitter experi- 
ence. I will force you to obey my commands, (points at Blaw.) 
You shall marrv this noble gentleman. Try to evade it, if you dare. 
Implicit obedience is all that can save you from inflexible punish- 
ment. 

Rush. Don't be fiightened, Lilian; I am with you. We have 
devils in our fninily, but I draw the line at fools 

Bur. (loudly) By the Bonebreakers of Floundover! so do I. Down 
with the Duke! 

Lil. (with dignity): 

Who speaks of punishment? What have I done? 
I stand before you all. a free-born child; 
No brand of bondage scars my face or form. 
Must I bend like a slave beneath the rod? 
Freedom is sacred in the sight of God. 

5wr. (api)lauding) Happy Howlharve! a declaration of independ- 
ence! Mother, fight or fall back. [Mrs. R. starts toioard Lil.; Blaw. be- 
hind, holding to her shoulders and pulling back. ) 

Blaw. 'Elp! 'ead 'er liofF; she'll 'urt 'er daughter. {Rush, steps be- 
tween Mrs R. and Lil ; Mrs. R. slaps and scratches Rush ) 

Bur. (shouting and poundiug) Rah! rah! Down with aristocracy! 
Liberty and Independence! Freedom and our Flag? Rah! rah! At- 
tention company! Charge bayonets! (He pounds furiously. Rush, and 
Dry. seize Mrs. R.'s arms, and Blaw. behind, hands on her shoulders, pushing. 
They move up C . Mrs. R. screaming and struggling, and exeunt thus. Lil. to 
stretcher, and lays her head on Bur.'s breast.) 

Twist, (sympathizingly) Miss Lilian, you are weary of war — the 
curse of pride and greed. Freedom baptizes her followers with blood 
and tears. {Merry shouts and laughter outside, growing nearer. ) 



28 THE MAN OF THE FUTURE. 

Bur. Wake up, Lilian, the airship will leave yon. 
Lil. (putting her arm around Burly) I shall not lea^e you, dear 
Burly. 

Scene VIII. Twisted and The Dancers. 

Twisted, Lilian, Burly, tlie Dancers, and Carriers. {Enter Dancers— twelve or 
more - laughing and skipping^ hand in hand. All stop near machine.) 
Twist. Welcome, bright spirits of mirth. 

First Dancer, (man) Give us a prelude, and play the waltz, "En- 
chantress." 

Twist. One dollar for the prelude and the dance. 
Several Dancers. Cheap enough! (First dancer puts tin dollar in slot, 
returns to his j^ct finer, and all the dancers form in pairs C. 1' hey stand thus, 
looking at Twist. ) 

Twist, (declamatory style) Hear the i)relude to the dance: 
When Sound, the enchantress, to Motion is wed. 
And Beauty greets Youth in his prime ; 
Then souls taste the bliss of the rare and ripe kiss— 
Love, fond and deathless, sublime ! 
{Twist, turns handle of 7nachine; music begins; dancers waltz. A large Regina 
music box in wings will be quite appropi^iate music, but a piano or orchestra will 
answer the purpose. At the sound of the bell, dancers stop, run laughing and 
shouting and exeunt; but music contimies till curtain. Twist, shakes hands with 
Bur. and Lit.; carriers lift Bur.. Lil. follows, and they exeunt. Tivist. reclines; 
rests his head on log; pulls his hat over his eyes; .sleeps.) Curtain. 




THE MAN OF THE FUTURE. 29 



ACT III, Mrs. RushuHle's Parlor. 

A large room ; one entrance, large arched C D., with portiere curtains, orna- 
mental designs, rich tapestry, statues, easels with portraits R. and L. of C. D., 
and tinted walls. Limit the furniture -two sofas and four rocking chairs 
will be sufficient. Place two rocliing chairs and one sofa far down near left 
wall, and two chairs and one sofa opposite near to right wall. ^^"A stretch- 
er near and R of C. D. supporting dummy body, representing Mrs. R, s dead 
aunt. Show face of dummy— neat, white mask, and gray hair, but cover body 
to neck with sheet. Practical bell on right wall. Dress: Mrs R, rich eveu- 
ing dress, with jewels and ornaments Rush., Bur., and Prob., full evening 
dress. Dry neat, elegant ministerial dress. Lil , Twist , Tru. and bridal party 
dress in classic costume. Delineations and directions given on application. 
Blaw. full evening dress, exceptionally neat and elegant— diamond studs 
and rings if desired. Bigby and the two servants in flashy style. Bur.'s cane 
is described in list of properties. Note: The costumes of Twist., Tru, Lil., 
and the Bridal Party are strikingly novel, beautiful, and elegant. If desired, 
the management may increase the number of people (Bridal Party) ad libitum, 
and thus gain the essential eifects of dignity, splendor and majesty. 

Scene 1. Bnrl.v Predicts Trouble. 

(Barhj and R^isliville sittiug on sofa R. C.) 

Rush. Burly, what did you learn at college'? 

Bur. It would take four jears of talk to tell you, and four years 
juore to tell you wliat I didn't learn. 

Rush. What do you intend to do? 

Bur. What didn't Dewey do? Ask me something easy. 

Rush. Of what use are the colleges? 

Bur. They teach us the rudiments of the dead languages, and 
keep us in touch with the possibilities of the present. 

Rush. The best college is business. Dead language? twaddle! 

Bur. (jocosely) Ha! ha! you ought to learn a dead language; for 
you (tommit murder and handle the dead every day. 

Rush, (dryly) I don't discuss religious matters. Who heads the 
l)roc6ssion to-night? 

Bur. (vivaciously) Mother! Look out! she will have a funeral 
and a cremation, followed by a reception in honor of the Duke; then 
great Schley and Santiago! Lilian will present an original play, and 
what follows, you can politely spell with an H, one E and two L's. 

Rush. Don't disai>iK)int me; I'm lonely without it. 



M) THE MAN OF THE FUTUEE. 

Sceiip II. IJurlej and Drybook Exi)lain a Great Mystery. 

Burly, Rushville, Drybook, Mrs. Rushville, Blawstedboy, Bigby, John, and the 

Assistant- {Enter Mrs i?.. Dry. and Btaw., to dummy.) 

Mrs. R. The dear old lady is dead. 

Rush, (aside) you iiicoiuparable hypocrite! 

Blaw. Jli'ni 'orrified, bindeed I His she dtiad ? 

Bur. (aside) Tlie goose-beaded idiot ! 

Mrs. R. Yes, my dear Duke; Dr. Diiiibani, wbo removed ber beart 
for exaiiiinatiou, says sbe is dead. 

Dry. Such a loss! You are sadly bereaved, Mrs. Itiisbvilie. 

Rush, (aside) You devil, give ber ajiotber dose of deceit. 

Mrs. R. Yes, Dr. Drybook; but 1 am comforte'.! by the remeui- 
brauee of my aunt's tenderness, gentleness and sublime i)atieuce. lu 
lier last moments, sbe tried to comfort uie. Sbe s])oke of ber vast 
wealth, and told me it would soon be mine. Ob, such generosity as 
this! [weeps in 'kerchief .) 

Rush, (same) My wife is the leader of the liars' band. 

Blaw. 'As the hohl lady left 'er money hon hearth? 

Dry. Un<iuestionably; she could not take it with her. 

Bur. (aside) Suffering Schley! two fools' with one s]>oonful of 
brains! (rising — b)udly, to Dry. and Jilaw.): Say, if you have soften- 
ing of the brain, go to a sanitarium. Stop y(mr talk or take a walk. 

Mrs. R. (sternly, to Bur.) Have ycui no regard for royalty, no 
sympathy for your mother, no respect for the solemnity of death? 
And, Uushville, what shall 1 say to you? 

Rush. Say what you please; that's your style. 

Mrs. R. (tiercely) You insolent and degenerated sj)ecimen of de- 
graded ])overty? You diabolical, iconoclastic vandal! You married 
me for money — my aunt's money; but you did not get it. I have it 
— ha, ha! yes, I have it, and I will spend it; (sarcastically) dear Mr., 
kind Mr., good Mr. llushville! 

Blaw. You 'ave 'it 'im 'ard, Mrs. ltush\ ille. 

Bur. (to Blow.) Y(m interesting mud-turtle, (to ^Irs. K.) ^lother, 
tinish your fuss after the funeral. 

Dry. Peace in thii presence of death. Are you ready for the 
(cremation service? (All maneuver. Mm. li. rlnr/ii bell. Enter Bigby, John 
and assistant. ) 

Bigby. (near CD.) At your service, ^Irs. Kusbville. 

Mrs. R. Bigby, ]»la('e the corpse near the center of the room, and 
ymi and the servants remain during the cremation service. 

Bigby. With pleasure, Mrs. llushville. {iShe points mid the servant.^ 
place dianniy in (J , lieael toward C. D ) 

Dry. Friends, gather around the ltod_\, and listen to the solemn 
crenijition ce-remonv. 



THE MAN OF THE FUTUEE. 31 

Blnw. Hi 'aveiit the 'eart to 'ear this creation ceremony. 
Bur. Put a craxiker in liis beak, poor Polly! 

Mrs. R. ( sternly) Burly, are you a liuniau being? I'll disinherit 
you. Silence, sir! not a word; I warn yon. )Drij to head of dummy, 
Mrs. H. left of him, Bfaw. r/'ghi, Jhir and Hush, right side of stretcher, two 
servants left of it, Bigby back of them. Dry. opens black book, and motion.^! for 
silrnce ) 

Dry. (readiiijLi) What is deatb? (pauses and speaks) Answcir, 
l»lease, vvbat is <leatb? 

Rush. It is a break in tbe electric current of life. 
Bur. (pleasantly) Death Avas fully ex[)lained by an Irish woman 
at a Make — she said: (use Irish brogue) Death is a more dreadful 
cahiinity than is sickness or health. If 1 should die, and I could be 
informed of t he fact, it would so terribly terrify me that I should remain 
dead during t lie rest of my life. {Mrs. R. gl6.res at Bur.; Dry. and serv- 
ants hide faces laith hands and shake wil/i laughter.) 

Dry. (lowering book) As the mourners are not familiar with the 
responsive service, 1 shall proi-eed to the laudatory part. [Heputs 
book in pocket. Sp(ak the following lines with feeling, dignity and solemnity): 

Death, within thy firm, unyielding arms 

We sleep like habes upon the warm, fond breast 

Of wakeful Love. 1 hou hast a place for all, 

A peaceful habitation and a couch. 

Where Grief and Toil lie mute and motionless. 

And dreamless rilumber soothes the restless brain. 

In gloom all things assume a frightful form. 

Sorrow and P'ear can see thy pallid mask. 

But not the pure, pathetic face beneath 

Whose tenderness is sweeter than a smile. 

All welcome Birth, but thee they dread and shun. 

Is dawn more beautiful than is dying day? 

Death, thy kingdom is the vast Beyond ! 

The sigh, the sob, the lingering, last kiss— 

These are the tributes of the broken heart, 

Unsought, but held in sacred trust, by thee, (greater solemnity) 

Forever thou wilt sit in solemn state, (slow, deep tones.) 

Holding thy scepter over Birth and Life, 

And pointing at the emblems of thy might — 

The waning moon, the setting sun, the grave. 

(lie waves his hands and bows) That is all, at present, Mrs. 
Ilusliville. {Bur. and Hu.^h sit R. C.) 

Mrs. R. A delightful — I nu^an, an ext^edingly impressive service, 

Dr. Drybook. 

Dry. T shall conclude the service over your aunt's ashes- 

Mrs. R. Bigby, take the dear corpse to tbe crematory; and, Bigby^ 

carefully put the ashes in an urn an<l bring all to me. 



32 THE MAN OF THE FUTUEE. 

Bigby. With pleasure, Mrs. liusliville. {The servants lift stretcher. 
Mrs. R. and Dry. up to and R of C. D ; Blaiv. and Bigby same L. of C. D. 
Carriers pass between them and exeunt, and Bigby follotvs.) 

Rush. (poiiitiDg' at group) Wlien the devil calls for niouruers that 
crowd Avill take the frout seat. 

Bur. Sweet Santiago! you're right. Lilian is ready to start her 
star-sweeper, and we must give her room. Come, father. {Bur. and 
Rush, resume seats as in Scene I. Group remain at C. D. till players enter with 
tent.) 
Scene III. The Man of the Future, Blawstedhoy's lievelation, and 

Mrs. Kushville's Startling Statement. 

Burly, RushvlUe, Drybook, Mrs. Rushville, Blawstedboy, Twisted, Truman, 

Lilian, Probem, a Blind Man and Brother ; Three Men with Dead Man ; Truman 

and Lilian's bridal party — six men and six women— the men of the bridal 

party play the parts of the blind man and brother and the three men with 

dead man. [Enter two men— of bridal party -with small canvas tent, and 
place it doum R C, opening toward L. C, then men exeunt. Grotip (d C. D. 

to tent.) 

Mrs. R. Ah! Lilian is preparing a pleasing surprise for the Duke. 

Bur. (aside) And you have prepared a startling surprise for Lil- 
ian, (enter Prob.) 

Prob. (bowing) Miss Lilian requests me to announce that she is 
ready to present her parlor play, entitled The Man of the Future, in 
which Mr. TAvisted ai)i)ears as the leading character. Please be seated. 
{Mrs R. Blaiu. and Dry. sit at extreme L C; Bur. Rush, and Prob. same, 
extreme R. C. Enter Twist, with shepherd^ s staff, to tent, and kneels.) 

Twist. Heavenly Father, let thy face shine upon me. Baptize me 
with truth; guide me with thy wisdom; strengthen and save me with 
thy love: Amen. {Rises, sets staff against front of tent, and enters it Enter 
blind man, led by his brother, C. D. to tent; brother knocks on floor with staff; 
Tivist. appears.) 

Twist. Welcome with love. What is your wisM 

The Blind Man. Kind shepherd, I am blind. A spirit appeared to 
me in a vision, and told me to come to you and receive my sight. 

Twist, (laying his hands on man's head) My son, the Christ, our 
Heavenly Father, heals you. (He removes bandage; the inan stares; em- 
braces brother; runs and leaps; embraces J'wist. and exits running. Exit the 
brother hastily. Twist, r-e-enters tent. Enter three men carrying one— all of 
bridal jiorty— They lay man at tent, and one knocks on floor with staff. Tivist. 
api^ears. ) 

Twist. AVelcome! and the Lord be with you. 

First Man. (])ointiug at man on Hoor) Wise guardian, this is the 
body of a young man who fell from a mountain path. We ask you 
to restore him to life. (Twist kneels and lays his hands on the man's head; 
lifts his hands high; looks up and replaces them on head ) 

Twist. (solemnl> ) In the name of the Christ, the One God, rise! 



THE MAN OF THE FUTUEE. 33 

(Twist, rises; man takes a deep breath and moves slightly. Twist, 
turns toward men) Depart in peace; then, later on, meet your friend, 
and speak of his death and reanimation. Go with him to the altar 
and return thanks. (Twist enters tent; ai^d men exeunt. Man sits up, back 
to tent and rises thus.) 

The Man. (shuddering) I was falling! What a horrible dream! 
( He exits without noticing tent ) 

Prob. How do you like it, Mrs. Eushville! 

Mrs. R. Why, it's dreamy — fantastic; but some people have faith 
in such things. 

Dry. Yes; the crazy Sweden horgians believe in such nonsense. 
Man's mind is the only God, and science, rhe only religion. 

Bur. Dr.vbooU, you have as much sense as a frozen turnip. The 
Swedenbojgians are enlightening the world. 

Rush, (rising) When Dryhook shalves his head his brains rattle. 
Who are the thieves and murderers that die in my chair? Tliey are 
the members of your church, Mr. Drybook. 

Mrs. R. (tiercely — rising) Eushville, you morbid monstrosity! 
You catalei)tic specimen of the antediluvian ape! What do you 
mean? (advancing) I'll teach you to intimidate, insult, and brow- 
beat this religious gentleman. You sanguinary and diabolical off- 
spring of — 

Bur. (interrupting and stepidng before her) Time's up, mother: 
Make way for The Man of the Future. {Orchestra j^loys prelude of Bridal 
chorus. Enter Lil. and Tru followed by Bridal Party All walk hand in hand, 
singing and kecpittg step with music, two steps to the measure.) 
Lil. Tru. and Bridal Party, (singing): 

Rejoice I rejoice ! fond souls will pledge to-day ! 
Love, unite and lead them on their way ; 
Shield them from sorrow ; lift them in thy might 
From Death's dread shadow to a home of light. 
Twist, (appearing) Welcome, dear friends. 

Tru. Wise guardian, this young woman and I tenderly love each 
other, and we wish to be united in holy marriage. (Twist, motions to- 
ward tent; Tru. enters it; Lit. stands with hands folded, head bowed. Party 
form a semi-circle from tent to L. C.) 

Twist, (with dignity and solemnity): 

Creation is done, and the Creator rests 
From labor and looks upon His works. 
Above them all. upon the dome of light. 
He sets His image— man, the living soul. 
But man, amid the glory, stands alone. 
Yearning and pleading for the lips of love. 
Now God amazes heaven with His might- 
Beauty and breath He gives to lifeless bone— 
' A wondrouB creature, human and divine. 



34 THE MAN OF THE FUTURE. 

The dream of angels realized in flesh. ( He motions, and ) 

God gives to man the greater might and mind. ( Lil. enters tent. ) 

And firm dominion over land and sea, 

But crowns creation with the woman's love. ( Lil. and Tru. reap- ) 

The bliss of heaven descends to man and wife ; ( pear and stand be- ) 

Because they symbolize their Maker, God: ( fore Twist. ) 

United thus, they're one, like Truth and Good;— 

For man is understanding, woman, will; 

And man is wisdom, and the woman, love. 
( Tru. and all the men kneel. Lil. faces Twist, and bride's maids come and 
stand be/iind her, three abreast Flute behind scene plays "Abide With Me'" 
Muted strings in front play accomi^anioment Play to end of Twisted' s lines.) 
Twist, (more tenderly): 

Yes, woman's part is deep, enduring love — 

She lives for love, aflFection is her Hfe^ ^ y 

For she is nature'^ true idolitor.^,^,^j^^^^^r^,^^^>^^, 

Degrade, defile, or hurl her idol down, c<y<>^r 

Then she will follow like the erring waif, 

That wanders from the shining throng of space. 

And falls from glory to the depth of gloom. 

But, when the man she loves, does noble deeds 

On pinacles of power, lofty thrones. 

The woman, then, is greater than the king. 

Supreme in sympathy and gracious might. 

She pities crime, restrains severity. 

And guides stern Justice to a gentle stroke. 

Designed by Providence, His fruitful plan 

To fill the world with innocence and life. 

She consecrates herself to motherhood, 

And finds her mission in this blissful use ; 

For she, in secret, builds the social frame 

Which bears each nation's glory and its shame : 

Swayed by her will, the woman must sink or rise. 

The deepest damned, the highest in the skies. 
{He motions and the women kneel, Lil. beside Tru ; Twist joins their right hands, 
then lays his right hand on their hands ) 

Twist, (continuing) "The Lord bless you, and keep yon; the Lord 
make his face to shiuo upon you, and be gracious unto you; the 
Lord lift up his countenance upon you, and give you i)eace." 
(All — iu chorus) Amen. 

Twist. In accordance with the laws of God, I pronounce you man 
and wife. Rise, rejoice, and praise the Lord — i)raise Him with the 
dance. (He stands near teut, and looks at dancers J^^T" Dance minuet: do 
not exceed three minutes. Lil. and T7-u. lead the dancers. At conclusion all 
front face. ) 

Prob. (at conclusion) Mrs. Rushville, do you know that the cere- 
mony which we have just wituessed, constitutes a legal marriage? 

Mrs. R. (rising) What, sir! Ihat ceremony constitutes a legal 
marriagej? 



THE MAN OF THE FUTURE. 35 

Bur. As good as a government bond. 

Mrs. R. (affectedly) Come, friends, I shall not scold. You are 
fond of a laugli, but I shall not indulge you this time. Mr. Dry- 
hook understands tliis matter, and he will explain it. 

Dry. (rising) In one sense, it is a legal ceremony — thus, if they 
accept it as such; but, of course, they will not, for the Duke of 
Brokehurst is your choice, Mrs. liushville. 

Mrs. R. Correct ! Mr. Dry book is a profound man. Listen! I 
have been too lenient in many matters; and 1 am convinced that 
spite and jealousy are striving to outwit my honest and generous 
ambition. Lilian, you shall not disobey me again. I'll be firm; 
wow/ is the time and shall is the word. {Mrs. R. to C.) 

Twist. When one says shall, the other, sha'n't, 
The case must go to 'squire Can't. 

Mrs. R. (tiercely) Contemptible imbecile, silence! 

Bur. (aside) The big gun opens the bombardment. 

Mrs. R. Duke Blawstedboy and Lilian, approach me. Dr. Dry- 
book stand near me. We'll perform a ceremony in accordance with 
the law, and which will -not be followed by a fraction of a doubt, 
(she beitkons to Lil. and Blaw.) Come quickly; don't enrage me! 
come, 1 say. (no one moves.) 

Blaw. Hi 'aven't the 'eart, 'ardly, not hi, hindeed ! 

Bur. (toward Mrs. li.) Wait; I'm in the game. Has the Duke 
sense enough to talk intelligently? If he can speak one sentence of 
clear, sensible English, then let him marry Lilian. I'll test him. 
Here, Duke, what is this? {Bur. draws flag out of his cane; offers it to 
jRiaw.; he takes it. unfurls it, and steps to C. All leading actors to C, R. and L. 
of Hlaiv ; others form a semi-circle around central group ) 

Blaw. (with perfect pronunciation, clear and distinct, holding up 
the flag): Mr. Kushville, this is the American flag — the symbol of 
Liberty and the emblem of the earth's grandest political power. 
History will speak of our triumphs; patriotism will rehears them to 
youth; and this flag will be called the Banner of Brotherhood — Old 
Glory of the Boys in Blue. 

Bur. (boAving) A prophet! All honor to Old (ilory. 

Blaw. (the saine) Hear the Voice of our Flag: 

Glory I give not to brutal crime ; 
I can not leave Liberty's sod : 
I'm from above ; my mission is love ;— 
My motto is "Union and God," 

Tyrants assaulted me, but in vain ; 

Strong nations I met in their prime : 

I did not plead with the fiends of greed— 



36 THE MAN OF THE FUTUEE. 

But crushed them — my strength is sublime ! 

{He waves flag; holds it high and still; all point at it ) 
Draw me down never on Freedom's strand — 
(My stars stand for "Many in One.") 
But hold me fast ; remember the past— 
The struggle ! the Man with the Gun ! 
{All applaud. Blaiv replaces flag in cane, and hands it to Bur.) 
Mrs. R. (taking* Blaw's band) A surprise! Why, my dear Duke, 
liow shall I express my delight? ( He bows to Mrs. JR. and extends his hand 
to LiL\ > 

Lil. (taking his hand) Is this the man whom I so cruelly mistreat- 
ed! You are a nobleman indeed. AVill you forgive met 

Blaw. Yes, Miss Lilian; for your sake I endured those taunts and 
insults. 

Mrs. R. (with affected urbanity) Lilian, yon are a sweet child. 
Kneel, and ask the Duke to forgive you; for he is the soul of synipa 
thy, the incarnation of generosity, 

Blaxv. (coldly) Mrs. Eushville, look at that man. (points at 
Twist.) He is my dearest friend, and to please him, I acted the 
part of an aristocratic fool. I was an objecf lesson, illustrating the 
disgusting pride and imbecility of the titled fortune hunter. Be- 
stow your aunt's money on a noble man — (poinjts at Tru.) an Ameri- 
can. Birth gives distinction to none. Aristocratic i)ride is a fiashy 
fool, that rides on the shoulders of the blind.- I am not a duke — 
thank God ! 1 am an American citizen. Mr. Eushville, I dislike 
you; Mrs. Eushville, I despise you; Burly Eushville, T hate you. {He 
looks sternly at Bur .) 

Bur., (forcibly) Suffering Schley! I don't blame you, my Ameri- 
can friend. 

Twist. Hate and love can not live in the same heart 
Blaw. As the Duke of Brokehurst, I have played my part. Let 
this lesson sink iiito your souls, and remember my parting words: 
Faithfully play the part and fill the place in which Providence 
places yon. Noble deeds make noble men. Birth and death place 
all on the same level. Aristocracy is an Ass which assumes the 
dignity of a king, and which delights to hear the flattery of fools. 
God's aristocrats are angels, and His grandest title is truth, (shakes 
Twist's hand) We'll meet again, (bows to Lil. and Tru.) Mr. and 
Mrs. Truman, live in love and joy forever, (to all) Farewell, my 
friends. {He walks rapidly up C. and exits.) 
Mrs. R. (nervously): 

This is a pleasing Jest, a charming plot I 
I catch the Jolly turn of this quaint play. 
The Duke acts well. He has the mystic fire 
Of genius in his art -the subtle skill 



THE MAN OF THE FUTURE. .37 

Which sways the throng and glorifies the stage. 

He will return, oh, yes ! he will return. (she pauses) 

What means this silence and this gloomy stare? 

Twist. Because he'll not return. 

Bur. (mock solemnity) Oli, no! he'll not return. 

Mrs. R. (pointedly) Dr. Dry book, is this a part of the play? 

Dry. (bowiag) I hope so, Mrs. Rushville. 

Mrs. R. Mr. Probem, please to explain. 

Prob. Mrs. Rushville, you have seen and heard the facts. 

Rush, (coldly) Of course she has. 

Bur. Mother, if I were you, I w^onld not worry. 

Twist. Mrs. Rushville, the so-called Duke is an actor, and he will 
not return; and Lilian is Mr. Truman's wife. 

Light are the burdens and sorrows of life 
When two can carry them — man and wife. 

Mrs. R. (extending her hands to Lil.) Lilian, deny it! Lilian, the 
truth ! 

Lil. Mother, 1 love him, and we are one. {Mrs. JR. screams, darts at 
Lit.; she steps back; Tru. clasps Mrs. E^s hands; she struggles and screams, 
breaks away and darts at Rush.; he steps aside, and Mrs. H. stops near F. L. 
She siatids rigidly a feiv seconds, then she is convulsed in spasms — a form, of ep- 
ilepsy and hysteria. ) { Follow suggestions . ) 

Mrs. R. (screaming and falling. Lil. and Tru. to her) Mercy! 
help! help! (Lit. and Tru support her. Tunst and Dry to central group. 
Bridal party form a semi-circle around them. Bur. and Hush. R. C., outside 
of semi-circle. Mrs. R. struggles, moans and writhes convulsively; face distort- 
ed; eyes wide and staring; hands trembling and clutching. Lil. applies hand- 
kerchief to her face; Tru. rubs her hands.) 

Rush, (reassuringly) Do not be alarmed, my friends, Mrs. Rush- 
ville has a nervous trouble, and these attacks frequently occur. — 
{Mrs. R. .struggles less violently; ceases to writhe with body; but groans, moves 
her arms and hands as if she were clutching, holding and pushing a pillow. 
&hows her teeth, stares, distorts her face and has a fixed expression of anguish, 
rage and horror. Speak the lines in a loiv, guttural voice, or a loud, hoarse 
whisper. Pronounce each word distinctly. Lil. and Tru. support her through- 
out.) 

Tru. She suffers. 

Lil. Yes; I was expecting this, Truman. 

Mrs. R. (as above): 

No pain? Why do you moan and clutch and writhe? 
No sin? What is this brutal, savage deed? 
No hell? Then where do devils dwell? the fiends. 
Whose vile, unchangeable, and frightful souls 
Forever gloat on horrid scenes and crimes ! 

i&he has a paroxysm of hysteria— distorted face, writhing and muffled screams, 
Qroup stare and shudder.) 

Bur. (toward Rush.) Father, what does she mean? 



38 THE MAN OF THE FUTURE. 

Rush, (puts his arm around Bur. Both to R. C.) Wait! (he 
points at Mrs. E.) Death stares at me with that woman's face. 
Lil. (tenderly) Mother, do .you know me"? This is Lilian, 
Twist, (sadly) When will the doctors use the power of Christ? 
Hell is the birth-place of every disease. 
Mrs. R. (as in her lines above): 

Your bony hands are strong ; they beg for breath ( clenches her ) 
And tear like claws. Why, you can get no air ! ( teeth. ) 

Relent? repent? no, ha ! you're still— not quite ! 

[She x)riuses. then sjoeaks slower and slotver.) 
Your heart is beating— thump ! yes, thump— thump— there ! 

( Closes her eyes, hands fall; speaks with a pause between each word. ) 
Rushville— you— are— doomed— I— 
(She relaxes and lies limp, as if asleep, eyes closed, face composed. Bush 
rings the bell. Central group lean over and look intently at Mrs. li.) 

Rush, (to Bur.) Do you understand it now? 

Bur. Yes; she smothered her aunt. 

Rush, (fear and surprise — impressively) And, Burly, she has se- 
lected my neck for her knife. 

John, (at C. D.) Here, Mr. Rushville. 

Rush. John, bring an assistant and a stretcher. {Exit John; the semi- 
circle breaks, form two lines H. and L. of central group. Enter John and 
servant with stretcher to group. Hush., Tru. and servants place Mrs. R. on 
stretcher; servants start to C. D.) 

Rush, (continuing) Place Mrs. Rushville in charge of her ladj' 
assistants, (exit servants with Mrs. R.) My wife is in a comatose 
state. She has a. serious nervous disorder. My friends, what she 
has said is not significaut; her disease gives her words a morbid and 
tragic import. 

Bur. Heredity jumped over Lilian, and hit me; for she is kind, but 
the devil is ashamed of my brutality. {Rush puts his arm around Lil. 
They go to lower R. C. Everybody looks at them. ) 

Rush. Lilian ! 

Lil. Father. 

Rush, (gentle and pleading) Mrs. Rushville and I 

Must part; but let me stay with you, my child. 

I was not alway thus— a cruel man ; 

'Twas murder made me so : it haunted me. 

I saw my father murdered in the chair; (Lil. starts) 

Then I became revengeful, stern and cold. 

But you are merciful— a child of love ; 

And you moy lead me up to hope and joy. 

And teach me truths which will sustain my sou! 

When I shall stand before Almighty God. 

The soft, subduing, mild and holy touch 

Of Innocence, which sweeps the hardest hearts. 



THE MAN OF THE FUTUEE. 39 

Like harps celestial in seraphic hands,— 
Lilian, this can help an erring man I 
Let nie remain ! 
Lil. (kissing Liiii): 

Yes, father, welcome ; you will live with me ;— 
And Twisted, the brilliant, wonderful man 
Becomes my brother; thus, indeed, I'm blessed. 
Listen, my father :— 

Our souls are modeled by our thoughts and deeds. 
When Pity moves you, clasp her to your breast; 
Accept her counsel, do her kindly deeds. 
( They go to C. Lil. takes Tru. and Twist's hands and leads them to Hush.; 
they shake hands, then stand in line thus: Hush.. J'ru., Twist., Lil., in front. 
Others form a semi-circle ivith Dry and Bur. at its lower ends.) 

Lil. (pointing at Rusli., Tru. and Twist, in turn) There is the man 
of the past; liere is the man of the present, — and next to him stands 
The Man of the Future, 

Twist. The past is the father of the present and the future. 
Lil. (facing audience): 

Old Time rolls up the curtain of his stage, 

And calls his characters to startling scenes. 

Invention climbs the peaks to meet the morn ; 

Achievement sets his face toward the stars ; 

The giant, Labor, leads his brawny ranks 

In order beautiful over bloodless fields, — 

And Progress wakes the world with trumpet tones. 

Above the throng, serene, sublimely calm. 

Towers the climax of the human race, 

The Genius of the Centuries — look ! 

He comes ! he comes ! the spiritual man. 

All. (in chorus) The Man of the Future ! 
Lil. (pointing at Twist.) He's with us now. 

All. (same — bowing to Twist.) The angel man. (.Orchestra sminda 
several loud and long chords. Bring out full power of the Orchestra.) 

( Curtain. ) 



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